Forgiveness: breaking free from addiction.

I have found that forgiveness seems to be the only and absolute way of breaking the heavy and punishing chains of addiction. You may ask yourself, "What does forgiveness have to with addiction?" However, I want to answer, "A lot!"
Here is the thing. For those of us wanting to free ourselves off of the chains of addiction, yet struggling to succeed, the shame and feelings of unworthiness may be already deep seated at the very core of our being. Every time we try to quit, and this is of any addiction, it is possible that one of the reasons of why we fail is because we feel continuously shameful. We feel shameful for what they do, the shame leads us to a search to escape, to escape from ourselves, resulting in once again returning to the addiction.
It could be anything: alcohol, drugs, self-mutilation, pornography, and even eating disorders or compulsive sex. What ever it is it happens because of self-shame, not knowing who we are, and most importantly not knowing what we are worth. It is because we lack hope for better things. That's how it starts off. No one picks up a cigarette just for the heck of it, unless it were to escape something, something he/she felt helpless about. It was the lack of hope that lead to that first try, a quick escape, a way to feel better if it is at least for one minute. It happens whether we realize it or not.
It may be that you have values, which lead you to feel wrong about what you did and you even promise yourself not to do it again. Yet, you gave it that first try, and you know that for that one minute, you felt good. That's exactly what ends up leading many of us to that second try and then a third and finally getting hooked up and slowly becoming totally dependant on the substance.
Of course, not all stories are such. Some try it because of peer pressure, some may not try it a second time, some may try it and not like it, but for those suffering with addiction, that is a very possible and realistic way of how it starts.
Then one day you wake up and find yourself without it, whatever it is. You may not find the cigarettes, the sex tape, the drugs, or whatever it is, and that's when you realize for yourself that you have become absolutely dependant. You feel the agony, it's not only psychological but also physical suffering and pain. You may shake, want to scream, hurt yourself, anything, because now you have to escape something bigger than before. Now you have no self-control. Now you need it. If you don't get it you will go insane, you don't know how to live without it.
Some people turn to crime, they rob someone to obtain the money they need for their drugs, some kidnap young girls and even children to rape them. Some may end up not knowing how to deal with it in any other way than killing themselves. These things don't happen just because, they originate from something, from a bigger issue, that issue being a lot of times, if not all addiction, self-indulgence.
How does forgiveness play a role in all this? When we forgive, others, and even ourselves. Especially ourselves. Our souls are cleansed. All the feelings such as hatred, agony, helplessness, unworthiness, rage, shame and such as washed away from our system. The very feelings that cause us to start addiction, and even continue it are gone, leaving for a clear way to recovery. You can have no greater enemy than yourself. If you genuinely forgive yourself and work towards filling yourself with compassion and love, then you will feel better, the need to escape yourself will be significantly diminished. Your ability to deal with situations with a clear mind will be improved.
Forgive the ungrateful boyfriend/girlfriend, the once abusive parent, the betraying friend and all of those who have wronged you. I won't say it is easy, but if you are willing then you can do it.
If you find yourself in an abusive environment, gather the strengths to report it to the appropriate authorities. I encourage you to seek professional help and get support from those who care about you, if needed. Start by forgiving. Forgive others, forgive yourself. It makes the great miracle of recovery truly happen.

Love always, Sarai.